you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I understand Curling. That high.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
