you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
