You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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