I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
