had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
