A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Randomize