but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
