paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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