Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
