When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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