so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
