Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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