Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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