do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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