I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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