That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
