Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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