wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
