My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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