I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
