Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
