Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
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