Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
