hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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