I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
