yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize