I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Who died my cat blue again?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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