what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
