hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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