We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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