I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
