where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
