If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Randomize
