i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
sex in a hospital.. check
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
