Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He shit in the fireplace
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
