what if every blade of grass was a penis?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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