Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
