i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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