i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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