Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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