"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Alive.
So much puke
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
