After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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