you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
