i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
