Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
