He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's blow job season.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
