I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Randomize
