i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize