I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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