You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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