And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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