Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
