I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
