Just mADE A PArabola og urine
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
sex in a hospital.. check
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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