I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
