Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better

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(718): View more from New York

Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.

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(972): View more from Texas

he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.

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(408): View more from California

This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD

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(+61): View more from Australia

we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...

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