I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize