did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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