im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
