I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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