Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
50% drunk capacity currently
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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