Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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