Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
