there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
