How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
