I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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