I accidentally had phone sex last night
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i love accidental penises.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
