marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
