i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
