So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
