This is not my ceiling
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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