apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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