I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
